Schoolday of the Dead
http://www.afterhours.ie/articles/152/1/Schoolday-of-the-Dead/Page1.html
John O'Donnell
By John O'Donnell
Published on 05/22/2009
Five years after Shaun of the Dead introduced the Rom-Zom-Com genre to the world, Tormented resurects the idea and dumps it into a British school. Will it receive an A or an F?
Schoolday of the Dead
Tormented
Directed by Jon Wright
STARRING: Alex Pettyfer, April Pearson, Calvin Dean, Dimitri Leonidas, Larissa Wilson
RELEASED: May 22
CERTIFICATE: 16
Running Time: 91 mins
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8kVgwGrH4Y
Tormented starts the way every movie starts these days – with the ending. The rest of the movie is one big flashback. Why can’t movies start at the beginning anymore? Non-linear storylines are clever. One big flashback is the most pointless narrative device in existence.
Rant over. The flashback begins with a nerd getting kicked out of the funeral of his friend’s funeral for calling the head girl a hypocrite during the eulogy. Darren Mullet has died by suicide. His funeral gives us a chance to get to know all of the social groups at the school: the cool kids, the swots, the spoiled girls, the goths, the crips (I made the last one up). The cool kids are planing a party and Alexis crosses the cultural divide by asking Justine, the posh head girl, to go with him (Alexis is not a girl before you get turn up expecting a lesbian type affair).
The fun starts when the cool kids all start getting abusive texts from Mullet’s phone. Here’s where the endless trail of unanswered questions begin. This movie is a philosopher’s wet dream. Mullet was apparently a social outcast. So why do all the cool kids have his phone number?
The DJ gets kicked out of the big bash for one party foul or another and winds up in the graveyard where he sets about relieving himself on Mullet’s grave. An unidentified assailant then implants a long sword that just happens to be lying around into the Ali G wannabe.
Justine and Alexis continue their courtship throughout the film. Justine obviously gets caught up in the allure of becoming one of the cool kids and turns her back on her Keira Knightly obsessed friends. All the while people are getting offed in a series of brutal murders.
We are then presented with a series of questions (these are actually intentionally posed): Why did Darren kill himself, who’s next, and is it Darren killing from beyond the grave. Yes, he is. He’s killing people and the only surprise when you see him is how unsurprising he looks. He doesn’t look as if he’s returned from the dead, he just looks like he has a bad hang over.
Tormented addresses serious issues, like cyber bullying and teen suicide, in a roundabout way. It doesn’t engage with them directly, it just kind of wags its finger at them. “Now don’t you be happy slapping or the poor unfortunate you’re teasing will come back from the dead and kill you”. It isn’t realistic enough to be a proper fable. There are too many flaws in the logic. Why does a zombie need goggles? Why did nobody notice a dead body floating in the swimming pool for more than a day? Why are there no funerals for the other kids? Are there no fire exits in English schools? How come Darren is super fast one second, then super slow the next? Where are the parents? Won’t someone please think of the children?
It’s all well and good having a movie based on a central premise that requires the suspension of disbelief, but you need to ground it in some kind of reality otherwise you might as well just make a cartoon. Darren is continuously referred to as Shrek, which is ironic because the Shrek movies are closer to reality.
If you are capable of switching off your brain completely you may enjoy some of the gore (there is a fantastic brain dripping scene) or pretty people. Also, Dimitri Leonidas and Tuppence Middleton (even the actors names are unbelievable) do a very good at portraying the awkwardness of a fledgling teenage romance. Other than that though, its there’s little to go on.
Must try harder.
Directed by Jon Wright
STARRING: Alex Pettyfer, April Pearson, Calvin Dean, Dimitri Leonidas, Larissa Wilson
RELEASED: May 22
CERTIFICATE: 16
Running Time: 91 mins
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8kVgwGrH4Y
Tormented starts the way every movie starts these days – with the ending. The rest of the movie is one big flashback. Why can’t movies start at the beginning anymore? Non-linear storylines are clever. One big flashback is the most pointless narrative device in existence.
Rant over. The flashback begins with a nerd getting kicked out of the funeral of his friend’s funeral for calling the head girl a hypocrite during the eulogy. Darren Mullet has died by suicide. His funeral gives us a chance to get to know all of the social groups at the school: the cool kids, the swots, the spoiled girls, the goths, the crips (I made the last one up). The cool kids are planing a party and Alexis crosses the cultural divide by asking Justine, the posh head girl, to go with him (Alexis is not a girl before you get turn up expecting a lesbian type affair).
The fun starts when the cool kids all start getting abusive texts from Mullet’s phone. Here’s where the endless trail of unanswered questions begin. This movie is a philosopher’s wet dream. Mullet was apparently a social outcast. So why do all the cool kids have his phone number?
The DJ gets kicked out of the big bash for one party foul or another and winds up in the graveyard where he sets about relieving himself on Mullet’s grave. An unidentified assailant then implants a long sword that just happens to be lying around into the Ali G wannabe.
Justine and Alexis continue their courtship throughout the film. Justine obviously gets caught up in the allure of becoming one of the cool kids and turns her back on her Keira Knightly obsessed friends. All the while people are getting offed in a series of brutal murders.
We are then presented with a series of questions (these are actually intentionally posed): Why did Darren kill himself, who’s next, and is it Darren killing from beyond the grave. Yes, he is. He’s killing people and the only surprise when you see him is how unsurprising he looks. He doesn’t look as if he’s returned from the dead, he just looks like he has a bad hang over.
Tormented addresses serious issues, like cyber bullying and teen suicide, in a roundabout way. It doesn’t engage with them directly, it just kind of wags its finger at them. “Now don’t you be happy slapping or the poor unfortunate you’re teasing will come back from the dead and kill you”. It isn’t realistic enough to be a proper fable. There are too many flaws in the logic. Why does a zombie need goggles? Why did nobody notice a dead body floating in the swimming pool for more than a day? Why are there no funerals for the other kids? Are there no fire exits in English schools? How come Darren is super fast one second, then super slow the next? Where are the parents? Won’t someone please think of the children?
It’s all well and good having a movie based on a central premise that requires the suspension of disbelief, but you need to ground it in some kind of reality otherwise you might as well just make a cartoon. Darren is continuously referred to as Shrek, which is ironic because the Shrek movies are closer to reality.
If you are capable of switching off your brain completely you may enjoy some of the gore (there is a fantastic brain dripping scene) or pretty people. Also, Dimitri Leonidas and Tuppence Middleton (even the actors names are unbelievable) do a very good at portraying the awkwardness of a fledgling teenage romance. Other than that though, its there’s little to go on.
Must try harder.